We all love going to the cinema but sadly there are many things about visiting your local movie theatre that can drive you a bit mad so we’ve decided to put together:

rules

With so many people who have seemingly lost all sense of common decency, manners, awareness of others when visiting the cinema I thought i’d put together a quick light hearted list of things not to do / guide for everyone, and if you’re not one for following rules, i’ve even included a little reasoning. So here goes, the what and why of what not to do in the cinema.

 

  • Calling – Don’t do it, you’ve paid good money to watch a film which 1000′s of people have toiled over. It’s disrespectful to them and mostly to the people around you who have also paid good money. If your nan/ aunt/ neighbour calls you shouldn’t even know, your phone should be on silent. If you are expecting a life changing call then may I suggest a later showing, let’s face it whispering down your speaker telling your Nan you can’t talk as you’re watching a film isn’t nice for anyone, least of old that lady who buys you an awesome jumper every Christmas!
  • Texting – The clicking of the buttons, the glow of the screen, it’s just so god damn annoying!  I’m sure that the message from your bestie commenting on a celebrity hair cut can wait for a couple of hours. If it can’t and you really must reply go outside and do it pal, I don’t want your glare distracting me while I try to watch what’s going on, on screen. Same goes for tweeting/updating Facebook when the film is on. Just don’t!
  • Using your tablet: Yeah that’s right, some people do it, I once sat near a guy who spent the entirety of Silver Linings Playbook on his iPad browsing Grindr. Good for you pal, you try and pick someone up, but don’t pay the best part of £10 to sit and stare at this tiny screen when there’s a frankly bloody brilliant film on a giant one in front of you. Hit a coffee shop, the likelyhood is your chances of picking someone up will increase too.
  • Commentating – Directors commentaries are available on many Blu rays and DVD’s these days and that’s great! If you want to watch them then do so in your own home. Don’t however provide your own version of one in the cinema. Firstly it’s distracting for everyone around you and secondly no one needs you to give a description of what’s going on up on the screen, we have eyes, we can watch. Do us all a favour and go for a drink after and discuss what was hopefully a great movie, until your hearts content
  • Talking: Similarly to the above, this is really distracting and annoying, but once again a total waste of money. If you want to chat about something go to a shopping centre/coffee shop/bar/your friends house but don’t do it while the films on. If you do feel you 100% must say something to your friend about, hopefully, how amazing the film you’re watching is, WHISPER IT!!
  • Slurping: Your drink has finished huh? Well I hope you enjoyed it, now please place it in the cup holder and enjoy the movie. Please don’t suck on the straw repeatedly filling my ears with the awful vacant slurping noise that echoes throughout your empty paper cup. If you’re that thirsty go get another drink because no amount of noisy straw sucking will produce more coke!
  • Rustling: Plastic bags in the cinema – no! Paper bags for popcorn are annoying enough (i’m personally a champion of the pot) so please don’t rustle through a film. If you want to smuggle in your own snacks then go for it but don’t root around in a noisy carrier bag in the middle of the film, just get your stuff out at the beginning and kick back and relax!
  • Arriving late – This happens to us all sometimes, it’s just part of life. We all however, see those people that dart to the nearest seat, head down to get out of everyone’s way. However, there are those lovely people who arrive, walk up the stairs, stand on them, illuminate their phones and search the aisles for the best seat in the house. Well guess what, they’ve probably gone, so please just take a seat, oh and please don’t shine that light in my face!

Well that’s about it, well from me anyhow! Let us know if you’ve got any cinema bug bears you want to share, maybe we can update the Movie Emporium cinema rule book again soon!